Away from the hustle and bustle

Just back from the inaugural HANA Leadership Training Seminar at Batam. It was so much fun with the right company and I have found answers to the questions that have been on my mind.

The lovely villas by the beach that we didn't get to stay at this time round

Dock by the beach
Stupid parrot at hotel

Claudia and me
me and my roomie, Emily

trying to be childish.

Cute lil stuff at the hotel lobby

Mummy Janet (so cute)

Daddy and his lil yellow creature

I was touched by all the sharing by everyone who came (even Kenneth's, because it was funny - 'make it!' and "这不是重点"). Especially Claudia's and Janet's. Claudia who never shared NDO, did a fantastic job at it and her real emotions make her sharing even more endearing. Thanks for believing in me, because I really believe nothing is a challenge for us, as long as we have the same belief.

Janet's sharing was exceptionally touching too. Never know her story until she bared her heart and soul to everyone during her sharing. I was surprised at the similarities, but then again we are very different too. Really saw her change over the past year and I think she will definitely be able to fulfill her dream of being a homemaker and spend more time with her lil girl.

Most touching were the videos made and Len's slides. So much effort went into the trip (thanks to Zhenwei, Len, Caren, YW), and I learnt alot from Len's sharing of what makes a leader and how we can all become leaders. I have not chosen the wrong person to follow. Only one who believe we are leaders can make leaders and this one person is Len.

HK, Sydney here we come!!!

To what it is worth

Besides complexity that comes with age, I realize that another important thing - Time.

I used to think I am young, I want to try all things in the shortest possible time, I want to the fastest bestest out there. Everything is of urgency and I couldn't wait to grow up. Now I simply want time to stop. To stay 20 forever, 21 forever, 22 forever.

The faster you gain something, the faster you will lose it. It applies to losing weight. Yeah, sure you can lose a couple of kilos by skipping meals or taking drastic diet, but to lose weight eventually and efficiently truly takes time. Relationships too, if you jump into a relationship too quickly, the likelihood of falling out of love is just as fast.


I finally learnt the lesson of rushing, not hurrying. Take time to breathe the flowers, take a look around yourself. Don't hurry from destination to destination without a break. To enjoy the process you need to actually slow the footsteps to make precise and accurate judgement. Like playing chess.

Now I know why I am a bad chess player. I just make any moves, irregardless of the outcome. I never give any thought to the bigger picture, only have immediate aims in my mind.

Not to say we can take our own sweet time when we are young. The more we can't play with our youth, because time is of the essence. Now's the best time to make the wisest decisions and strategise your big game plan. Miss this chance, and you'll probably not know when the next opportunity may arises. But watch before you leap. Or rather, think before you leap

Red Alert

my new hairdo, as requested by those who can't meet me yet

So red, so curly. I don't want the colour or the curls to disappear!

Last Saturday make up competition was so fun! Thanks to Kai Er for being my model and subject herself to all the makeup. And CONGRATS to Sarah and Claudia for winning the Most Creative Award and Winner of the competition respectively! Although I didn't manage to win, it was a great experience nonetheless.

My model and I

Claudia and I

Me and Serene

After the competition, I attended a dance performance by Hsin Yi and her dance ensemble at NUS with Kai Er and Cassandra. I have found a confidante in Kai Er, hehe. She is such a open minded person with such different views from most people around me. Really like her forthrightness and she's so cute! (:

Kai Er and Me

Me and Cassandra

And it was good finally to see Cassandra again! I especially enjoyed our conversations that day, so hilarious. Girl we must do this more often k?

It was a good long weekend for me. Looking forward to another long weekend this wk. Training will be good!!! Batam here I come! (can you imagine I never been to Batam before? This is how swa ku I am)

I'm very free these days, so ASK ME OUT!

Regretfully to say, I still looking for my starting line. Haven't even started to run even though the shot was fired long ago. I know my priorities and my SOP. All I am lacking is the 做 for the experience. Like waiting for something to happen. Very bad indeed...

Of marriage, babies and sex

Despite me seemingly trying to be a career woman and be super busy, what I really want is to get married, have babies, white picket fence (so american) and be a very free tai-tai so that I've got time to dress up, shopping, go for balls (or gala dinner), do charity, educate my children. I know, this kind of life sounds very boring, but I like being and having free time. Time to explore the world, build new relationships, time to roam around, time to waste.

And I wanna get married early. Before my ovaries expire. Haahaa, sounds so weird right? A girl my age thinking that far. I don't plan to get married in my late 20s and have babies when I'm 30 something and while my child is finally grown up, i am in my 50s. I like my parents' lives timeline. What I don't like is money was always the major issue for conflicts in my family when I'm growing up. My parents got married when my mum was 21 and my dad was 25 and they set up a family soon after. By 26 my mum was done with childbirth and as my siblings and I are either in our 20s or reaching 20, my mum is only 45. She's still considered reasonably young and healthy to go travel. And I want her to be able to free herself from working when she reaches 50.

Such a far-fetched dream. Any financial planner would advise that i'll have to earn alot more before I can provide that kind of lifestyle for my parents. And realistically my chances of getting married and pregnant before 25 is getting lesser and lesser as I grow older and older. Just a blink of an eye, by next year, I'll be a certified 23 yr old, though my 22nd birthday is still not here yet. 2 more years towards my planned retirement. I'm starting to feel a sense of urgency.

Many pregnant women around me these days, think the government may have put something in our water to make everyone so fertile. And for the issue of fertility, i was inspired to write something about it in my blog after chatting with Persis yesterday. Old men goes to Batam or Balai for sex, young men are screwing their underage girlfriends for sex. I think Singaporeans actually have very exciting sex lives, just that people are not telling because we are still a conservative society. I don't judge people for having sex. I just wished people will do it responsibly. And speaking of conservative, I recently realized that there is a law against homosexuality in our Penal code, which is under revision right now. Sex between people of the same sex is apparently illegal in Singapore. Strange eh, despite noticing more 'broken wrists' around?

Neurotic Leya

I do not have a boyfriend now. Haven't dating until recently. The past year has been constant rediscovery of myself and people around me. I learnt alot about myself, but suddenly I turn around and realize I have very few males friends other than those from Hana. Which leaves only Bryan (whom haven spoke to me for sometime)

The people I'm going to mention anonymously are strange men who keeps coming up in my mind. Who are merely friends or even less than that. Men I've gone out on one on one dates (totally platonic, absolutely no romantic connotation. If there is, I would know) but somehow... somewhat... they just keep turning up in my head. So to address this problem, I decided to write it down anonymously on my blog.

Mr X - He is older (think have children, probably married now/before), extremely charismatic, speaks with an accent. Knows how to charm women, I've seen how my female colleagues and bosses get charmed by him. But he is totally sincere, witty and funny. And knows alot. And he flirted with me. Over email (as cerified by Johnny, not a fragment of my imagination). He is a my certified crush, i become deliriously happy when it comes to him. But no, there is absolutely no way this will progress more than a crush.

Mr Y - He is a guy with the car. Totally not my kind. abit on the Beng-ish side. He calls me 'baby' online. I conveniently ignore this way of addressing me (nonetheless my thoughts ran abit wild) I'm drawn to want to know him better, but not wanting to give him false hopes (no interest in a relationship now). But he's defintely the young gutsy one, willing to take risks and has the experience in life.

My Z - He is the safe guy. Took the safe route, have a safe job, and a nice family (I know his dad. humourous guy) Yes safe = boring. Just a bit. Maybe he's shy. and nervous, under the weird circumstances how we get to know each other. But i get the feeling, we have very different thinkings (about taking chances) and different wavelengths. Like not a perfect fit. Like nothing in common. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions.

Deduction: I'm not ready to be in any romantic relationship. Maybe the right guy hadn't come along. Maybe I have too much considerations. Maybe I'm just too selfish to want to let anyone in. Frightened really. That all is in my imagination. Scared I will be rushing things again (like all the times before). Now I really just want to take it slow. Really extremely slow.

New ME!

nice new pink sweater from Sue-Ann


Going for the new look. Japanese soft perm here I come.

Oh this is not me (duh) but charlotte has such a sweet smile right? so cute!

Happy Birthday Sister!

She is a Pooh Bear fanatic. If you ever been in my room, you'll be amazed at the number of Pooh Bear soft toys and ornaments. Haha. And this Pooh Bear is by far the biggest we have in our possession. About as high as an average human torso. And my wonderful sister hugs it to sleep (i do that sometimes too when she allows me). Given to her by her Rotiboy colleagues, I think she is having one of her better birthdays this year. Anyway she is camera shy, hence this is the best shot I've gotten her. No worries, she looks pretty much like Pooh, with short hair and glasses.

Think she is going to kill me if she read this entry. hee

Anyway my sis is going away to China for internship for 2 months, sometime end of this year. I'm going to miss her so much because I share a bed with her, talk to her when I come home late (if she is not already sleeping) and she downloads all my shows and music!!! What will I do without her? Crap... have to learn how to pirate my own shows and music now.

Ratatouille

Finally got the chance to catch this movie. Everything in the show is just so heartwarming. Remy the rat is absolutely cute and Linguine is so blur. Haha. Pixar has really outdone themselves in Ratatouille. They hardly do humans cartoon (other than The Incredibles) but the humans in Ratatouille is really distinguished and endearing. Even Ego. Remy is without question, the cutest rat I ever see and the smartest. I love the hustle and bustle of the restaurant and it kind of remind me to watch another movie on chefs too - No Reservations. Haven't seen a Catherine Zeta Jones movie for sometime. She is one hot beauty with so much poise and style. Any one wanna watch with me?

Judging Everybody

Judge - who are we to judge anyone?

What is judging someone by its cover anyway? In my opinion, judging is define as labelling someone based a action or speech (which is not a common occurence) Names shall not be named, but there was once I hugged another guy friend infront of some friends. This guy friend not my boyfriend. He's simply huggable and we both know that hug did not mean anything more than friends (i treat this guy like my bro). But my other friends, well one of the guy gave me the look. I was uncomfortable, trying to explain myself. But then I tot to myself. I am me. I like hugs, I give friendly hugs. If I know u are not comfortable, I wont give. But otherwise I hug anyone and everyone (except most guys).

And I had this sex survey done with some friends. A friend of a friend is interviewing a sensitive topic of sex. It was quite informative and I like the lay-it-all-out-in-open kind of talk, where people shared honest opinions and views. It is confidential anyway, and although I was honestly abit caught off guard by the honesty of the answers but I did not judge. No labels were formed in my head except perhaps surprise (because I realize how little I know).

And there was another issue of a more sensitve nature. Don't know how to put it politically correctly but I got ticked off yesterday for not turning up. Was accused of pulling some stunt, which I innocently could say I did not. I'm just sick and tired of the drama and hoo-haa that I've decided to take a break until a proper decision is made and this issue is addressed. I hate the politics, i hate the misunderstanding, i hate the back stabbing, i hate the wrong image that was portrayed, i hate all this judging of people. They never did understand us. It's a relationship doomed for failure.

I rather be who I am, than to change who I am to suit everyone's palatte. I'm the in between child. To the wild ones, I'm the good girl. To the good ones, I'm the wild girl. Whatever. Judge whatever you want. I am just who I am.

*this is not to say we should stop changing for the better. Just don't change yourself because of someone says that's how you should be.

Brothers & Sisters

A typical American drama on family (albeit an American one). Calista Flockhart is in this show and I used to watch her so often on Ally McBeal. I've grown to love the series and the women in the show. Like Sally Field who plays the mother and the elder sister whose name I've forgotten. She is one strong lady who works and takes care of her own families (her own children and her siblings). I enjoy the dialogue very much, quite witty, not like the spoken english we have in Singapore. And it just seems so touching. The quality of film and choice of music works well for this show, hence touching the hearts of the audience. Alot of screwed up things happening to this family, like father's mistress, drug abuse, casual sex (which seems pretty common in the States), and hot gays kissing!.

I love these kind of All-American dramas. They cover all kind of genres, from CSI to Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives to 24 Hours. And it's great Channel 5 is bringing in more and more of such dramas. Still remember those days when I used to stay up late till midnight to catch JAG, Ally Mcbeal, One Tree Hill, Gilmore girls during my sec sch days. It was not until I was in Poly, when I learn to appreciate Friends. It made me laugh even more. I could rewatch the earlier seasons and laugh at the fashion then somemore.

And who can forget the all time favourite - Sex and the city! They have a similar season coming on now too by Candance Bushnell, the same author of Sex and the City - Lipstick Jungle. Career women trapped in New York's dog eat dog world. A fashion designer, a magazine editor and a production house owner. Not as good as Sex and the City but I could empathize with the girls

So why can't Singaporeans talk witty like the Americans?

Sinful desire

Anyone wanna buy me this for birthday?

I could use this for music, TV and video on the go...

Liar Game

Highly recommended by Len. This show rocks man! the scheming cunning ugly side of mankind. The greed, the fear... I can relate. Mankind has flaws, but I believe in justice and karma.

'The only formula to win this game is to trust one another, forgo any selfishness and work as a team.' So true

I believe in Hana and the team. no looking back.

Handphone picture log

NTU Hall 9 (170807)

Loreen & Yi Ling the Greek princess

The aristocrat and his pretty princess

Sailormoon

Early morning on 180807...

Love Mystic @ Aids Campaign

New friends I made - Yaya and Sofie...

my lovely babe, Serene

Sausages, Eggs and Beer @ The Brotzeit German Bier Bar and Restaurant

the great afternoon at VivoCity ended off with this!

250807 - Before SIM-RMIT Pageant @ St James

We saw Charlotte, Chyanne's cutest bundle of joy

And it was a night of clubbing and Music at Power House (i think) and Boiler Room

270807 - the night before Cassandra's birthday, we met up at Paisley and Cream to have dinner and photo-whoring session

The wrap is super nice!

And we barely finish the bread pudding because we were too full!

@ Hip Diner last Fri, me and my Godma, Emily (this girl is a superwoman!)

And Sunday was Denzel's 1st month anniversary (he's Dion and Dorothy's newborn son. Super adorable!)
Denzel

Cute Daphne and Hui Er