Dreams.

I finished 1/10th of my wish list this year.
3) Go to Taiwan to learn from the best (i went in May)

6) To fill up a huge makeup box that I can call my own (thanks to Oliver I have one now)

7) To go to a seaside resort to relax for a weekend (2 weekends at Batam. I wanna go Greece seaside resort!)

23) To have the stage where I can be sharing my experience (Bigger Newer Hana coming up)

35) To watch the entire season of Prison Break, CSI, Grey's Anatomy (thanks to online episode recaps)

The year has one more month left. I've been thinking through what I have accomplished over the past year and I have my share of "if only" Not really regrets, more like i learnt my lessons. And now it's time to learn to stop repeating them as habits.

Don't fall back to mortality after you realize you can be incredible.

Think. Out of the Box

"If you step back and look at the bigger picture today, you will be able to let go."

I've been self-tormenting myself with negative thoughts. Something I do so very often when I am alone. Behaviour Analysis: Before I can analyze another person's behaviour, I have to understand my own.

So thinking and deriving meaning from what I see around me, is something I'm learning to do.

Before I start rattling off in mindless paragraphs of words, I just want to state my brain and heart don't speak the same language and move the same direction. Is it that I don't want this enough? Why do I see myself again and again, acting out of habit? Habit from before, not new habits that should have been cultivated.

Seeing his words, somehow makes my blood boil. Seriously what does he know? (only barely scrap off the tip of the iceberg) but I can't let him exceed me when I already have the headstart.

Then I'm like a stubborn mule that wouldn't budge from my comfortable zone. Do I really need a disaster and crisis to tell me time is running out so fast even as i am typing this entry?

If a person gives you his time, he can give you no more precious gift. ~ Frank Tyger

The Fashion Icon

If only I can go back to the 1950s as a man, I would be in love with Audrey Hepburn.

I first saw her in Breakfast at Tiffany's, Sabrina and Roman Holiday - her film debut, and instantly fall in love with her wit, her big doe like eyes and her immeccable fashion sense.

Started out as a ballerina who went on to acting theatre and films, Audrey Hepburn was the IT girl during her hey-days. As she shares the same last name as another Hollywood star of that era - Katharine Hepburn - Audrey was mistaken as Katharine when she went for her fitting at Givenchy. But nonetheless the quirky girl manage to leave a lasting impression on Givenchy. She later on wore several of his pieces in Breakfast at Tiffany's and made famous the term 'little black dress' as she wore the black dress of the great Givenchy on the set.

If there's anything I want for Christmas, it will be the DVDs of Tiffany's, Sabrina, Roman Holiday, My Fair Lady, Charades, Funny Faces which are just some of Audrey's Hepburn's notable films. Or her Biography (read about her in Wikipedia, her life story seems to depicts the lives of those in Danielle Steel's books: survived the war, have several unsuccessful relationships, difficult childbirth, acting career, worked with UNICEF.) Or a huge drawing of her like the one below.

Sisterhood

In less than 2 weeks time my baby sister will be leaving for China for 7 weeks. So as a good sister, I have been trying to spend more time with her to get her winter wear and go shopping with her (seems like I'm always the shopping companion these days. Mon was shopping for interview clothes with Hwee Bing and yesterday was shopping for winter wear with Sis. But it's ok I like shopping!). Today I'll be meeting baby sister again to get some stuff at Bugis and tmr I'm going to bring her to Aljunied to go eat the highly recommended by Claudia - minced fish noodles and buy baking stuff for my gingerbread men.

I really going to miss this silly sister of mine. Although I'm the elder one, she is always the one 'scolding' me, cleaning after my mess in the room we share. And I'm always borrowing her jewellery. Most of all, she shares the same bed as me and even though we kick and hit each other alot in bed, it's fun having her around, downloading shows for me. And i realized it's fun shopping with her too. Her sense of style is very different from mine, more preppy, more quirky with acessories while mine is more girly with dresses and skirts. All the past shopping trips have been great bonding session for us, cause at least we didnt quarrel and she seems to be more agreeable and cooperative because we can work together to find things she likes (usually we scream and shout at each other. hardly see eye to eye).

Can't wait for sunday to come. Then we can go sing KTV the whole day, just the 2 of us. (: Long Live Sisterhood!

Of Wedding Bells and Love

The golden couple are finally married! Congrats to Angela and John.

Sunday was a great day to catch up with friends that I've not seen for years. Persis is back! and Pammy the usual gorgeous self and Cabrina who is going to become a teacher with Angela. Who would have thought?

Like the old days, the 4 of us come together again. Pam, Me, Angela and Persis
The good looking couple
Like the past.

Mahjong, swimming, potluck session to come!

Time will tell

I don't care if your dreams worth more than mine. You have no right to judge how much my dreams are worth. I feel that you are incredibly pushy for someone who says who wants to help people succeed. I wish you luck that you may succeed in your own field. But you have no right to judge my actions, because you don't even have an idea what I'm doing.

so don't come telling me I am not hungry for my own success. Time will tell who can persevere.

AMaths

When I was in secondary school, I had this subject called AMaths.

I never resented Maths before Sec 3. Miraculously I never had to try too hard for this subject because I am quite good at counting (read = calculative). Then I went on to Sec 3 when I had Double of everything = Lang (Eng & Chi), Maths (Emaths, Amaths), Humanities (Geo & Hist), Sci (Phy & Chem, which i later on dropped to do combined science). IT REALLY SUCKS THEN! i always fall asleep during phy, chem lessons. And esp Amaths lesson. I really tried to keep my concentration up when attending those classes. But somehow somewhat as the teacher went on and on with the examples, her words became further and further away. The class was of little interest to me. Then I thought, "I know one example, I should know it all," After telling myself all those things, I would fall back sleep thinking all is fine.

Until the tests, the exams came and I knew I was in deep trouble. During the paper, I would think to myself "it's ok I dunno how to do some of the questions, at least I completed most" Then when I received my results, I had a shock 7/20, 41/100. Those were the kind of results I was getting for the longest time during Sec 3 /4 (i think I scored quite a few zeros too). It was not encouraging, it was upsetting. And to me a student who always managed to score good grades, it was quite a blow. So I had tuition (which my parents spent alot on) but I was still falling asleep in class. Tuition was just a way to tell me, at least I was doing something about my grades. I made little little improvements over the 2 years, because my tuition teacher wouldn't give up on me. She was patient with me and because of her, I managed to pass Amaths (I cant remember I got c6 or b3, but I was way too glad that I actually passed the damn subject)

During those days when I was mugging and upset about my grades, I did little to really improve my prespective of Amaths. I was just telling myself I am bound to fail, I'm bound to fail. It's too difficult, I dunno how to do the questions, my amaths teacher is boring, I'm just not good in maths and science. I found alot of excuses for my failure to apprehend Amaths. But no actual solution to change my prespective of this challenging subject, like telling myself what I can accomplish if I can apprehend the subject. I could go JC with no sweat. Uni will come really easily. I wouldn't really have escape to Poly for an easier way out while telling everyone Poly is really hands on, and I could learn more from that (I did have a happier time in Poly. I wont trade that for anything)

Anyway abit too much digression, my point is I was finding excuses for my failure. Abit sad but true. And because of me compromising with the situation, I pretty much throw in the towel without giving much of a fight. The result was coincidental. I wished for a pass and a pass was all I got. It wasn't a real gauge of my actual strength at all, but it was definitely a measure of my mental strength.

Anyway I'm in the same place as I were when I was 16. To drop Amaths or not. I already dropped science to do combined science (analogy for dropping JC/uni for poly/work). Now Amaths is as tough as ever. I got my best tuition teacher (Hana). And AMaths is so bloody difficult as ever!!! ARGH!

Weekend Getaway

Here are the photos for the Batam trip which are long overdue.

The resort we went to - Harris Resort
1st let's have a group photo! (note my wacky pose)
Xueyin, me, Claudia, Gordon, Angeline, Yannwei and Janet
In room 442.
As usual, we must have our A&W

Thanet and me at the arcade, being kids again :)

at the 'infamous' STP 1 track

And the racer chicks are ready for some action

Boss Len reaching the finishing line.

And the crowd is cheering estatically!

Water Netball = Fun!

Check out

Thanks to Xueyin for the lovely photos!

Pictures speak a thousand words. No words can describe the fun the group had over that weekend and I'm so happy to have so many friends around! Next time, we must hit the 50 people mark and book the entire resort! Must also try the cable ski and more go kart!

My IQ is 140

I'm smart! wahahahaha. you can test your IQ on facebook.

In the meantime some silly games to relieve stress during this intense exam periods. Specially for Persis, Kase, Serene, Chinn Yun

Or simply when you are bored.

Freerice.com: guess the meaning of words

Orisinal.com: Cute graphics with games to test your reaction time and mouse clicking power.

The truth about MLM

No, I am not going to stand out to defend Amway or MLMs or compare pyramid schemes with MLM or brag about how MLM is going to bring you more money.

My colleagues were discussing excitedly about skincare (2 mummies and 1 metrosexual) this morning once I stepped into office. I was observing and overhearing the conversation as my computer starts up. Apparently the male colleague used to work in Nuskin Australia as beauty consultant (staff not distributor), and he was raving how good the products were. Then another mummy was excitedly sharing this dubious online taiwanese brand of products she saw recommended at a popular woman beauty show "nu ren wo zui da". The 'client' was my harmless, curious colleague who is a 2nd time mum to be who is really concerned about the products she puts on her face.

Anyway I met that mum to be in the pantry, after the discussion ended. I casually asked if she is looking for a good exfoliator. Because if she is, I got a good one to recommend. After more probing, she asked me for the site to check out more.

In retrospect, I could be more aggressive to share with her my feelings for the product. Because I really absolutely love Artistry stuff as they are so reliable and affordable (not just because I'm a distributor)

The point I'm trying to bring across is that MLM/Amway is not about selling, but sharing. We share information with each other everyday. Like what food is nice to eat, what movie is nice, what computer to buy. We don't expect the other party to make the same decisions as we do, we merely just want to let them know the existence of an alternative. Same goes with the sharing of products. It's not the method but the mentality.

I came across this friend's blog (let's just name him PJ) PJ just joined an MLM company and from his blog I can see much enthusiasim he has for the business as a starter. Then it struck me. MLM is really becoming more and more common these days. so many companies out there that names I shall not name, they have different business plans, different products, different way of operation. It is really not a taboo, or novelty anymore. it's neither a get rich quick scam nor a pyramid scheme since its legalisation. Even if we are not doing Network marketing, someone we know is definitely in one and may even be raking in big bucks from it. And I'm proud to say I have joined the grandmaster of all MLMs, which is a company that is almost half a century old and going stronger by the minute.

It's pretty much the 1st liner for any MLM. "Ever dream of owning your own business, gaining financial freedom?" Who don't want? Like what Thanet said yesterday, everyone wants to enjoy the fruits of this mean (MLM) but no one likes to do MLM.

A quote from PJ's blog: "Networking: If you want to be a success, you have to get used to frequently hearing the word "no" and ignoring it."

I will be telling the mum to be more about that polishing scrub that I absolutely love over lunch. :)

Optimism with real truth favor

I was watching Amazing Race with my siblings yesterday. there was a father-daughter team: Ronald and Christine. In the 1st leg, the father keeps apologizing for disappointing her and keeps saying he doesn't want to disappoint his daughter by losing the race. Christine the daughter however keep reassuring her dad that she is very proud of him. During the 2nd leg, the father became quite indecisive and defensive and started showing his bad side. He first scolded another guy from another team for being rude to the airline crew. Next at the detour he keeps repeating that he doesn't know how to hoist furniture and that the other challenge which is hunting the bicycles going to be difficult because there will be an ocean of bikes. The daughter tried to cheer him on saying that it's ok, as long as they stay positive. The father suddenly threw his temper again at her saying he is keeping optimism except his optimism is the truth (which is that it is going to be difficult) Then at the road block, he dissed his daughter by saying he could have done it.

My sister who was watching the show with me made a comment 'if i were the daughter, i would have slap the father who was being so irritating.' I had the same sentiments. Asian parents are not fond of encouragement or praises. They believe by doting on you, by encouraging and praising you makes you an arrogant or big headed person who is too full of yourself. They like to paint a very pessimistic picture of the world, like it is dangerous to go overseas alone, we shouldn't divulge too much of ourselves to other people than our family. Like my mum, who since young believes a good daughter cleans, washes and does housework beautifully (very domesticated) I remembered when the 1st time I got 2nd in class, she was not at all proud. In fact i dun remember her coming for the prize ceremony (subsequent ones she did not turn up too) She never showed her pride for me during my academic achievements. In fact, she told me girls don't need to study so much. just need to marry good husband. So as a kid, I grew up eager for attention, pride, encouragement and praises that my parents never gave me.

Thankfully after working hard in school and coming out to the society to work taught me that it's ok that my parents never praise me as much as I wanted when I was young. It made me stronger and more independent. They are who they are because their parents don't praise them too, so they don't know how to praise us. And they had a hard life, where money is hard earned because they cannot further studies because they are poor. But our generation should be different, now that we can see this. I'm not trying to say my mum is wrong. I still love her alot and she is right in her way, but it doesn't apply to our generation anymore. I see the daughter in Amazing race and I realize Asian women are really strong mentally and physically. Males in Asian countries are still perceived as the dominant gender. Women really still have to do more to prove ourselves, very unlike in the West. plus we have to suffer the gender stereotypes from our parents' generation. If we don't make a difference to our next generation, it's just going to be a vicious cycle.

So it all starts with us to make that one difference to our daughters (and sons) in the future, to praise and encourage them. Let them know it is ok to make mistakes as long as we learn from it. But at the same time, maintain the Asian values of humility, loyalty, integrity and tenacity.

And the world don't have to an awful place. We can see good in everything and everyone. I firmly believe in learning to not take things too hard and just do our best. What others do, we really can't control.

Passion Vs $

a friend of mine was sharing with me her frustration with her current situation.

I kinda of understand her pedicament. 'Cause I was somewhat in such a rut last year.

Fresh out of school, been working unhappily in a job that is not really what we want for a year or more. Come to hate our job and our routine lives. Yearn to go back to school to pursue a degree of choice (not because a degree to find a better paying job) like fashion design, design, baking school etc. And come to realize over the past year of working, we did not manage to save much of the money we have earned. Worse still, family finances do not allow us to pursue studies further, meaning we either have to rob a bank or beg the government or anybody to give a scholarship or loan. (which in many cases, scholarships are hard to come by and robbing a bank is a no go either, because a criminal record don't look nice in resume)

At such a crossroad, there's only 6 ways to go (in my opinion)

1) Take a loan and go back to school (to study what you want) Design school could cost anything between $60 to $100k after the whole course complete. Not including art materials, top notch computer for designing etc. And after say 3 years of study, come out and find that the local design scene is way too saturated. Money hard to earn, plus face alot of resistance from snotty clients. Passion could easily turn to hate in a job.

2) Take a loan and go back to school (just to get a degree to get by life, so that can command more pay, higher position in the meantime) Essentially spending more time and $ on pursuing further education, when you can use the time and money for better use. And when you finally graduate, you find yourself older than the average NUS graduate. Guess which the employer will choose.

3) Find a job in a line that you have passion for (like marketing for fashion line, photographer, TV producer, baker) End up hating the job (and your passion), cause you never imagine the downsides of the job when glamourising the passion before taking it up.

4) Find a job that pays, work your ass off and end up hating your life.

5) Find a job that pays, work your ass off for that passion you have.
Say if you want to learn fashion design and can't afford the money now, work in the day and find an alternative job at night. Save really hard (that's the more straightforward way) and it will probably take 15 years, or less than that if you are really good at saving

OR

6) Learn another skill at night, while you work your ass off in the day. Any skills that will enhance and propel you to earn money and bring you a step closer to your dream. Like if you wanna learn fashion design and make a business out of fashion design, learn makeup (which you can learn the asthetics of the face, bringing yourself one step closer to inspiration in fashion. Plus fashion shows to do makeup at so you gain exposure). Make a business out of makeup (by running your own shop / school with a group of like-minded friends). Earn money by learning how to run your own business. If you work really hard in say 2 -3 years, you may be able to gain financial stability and freedom from your day job to pursue your dream. BUT like all the above choices, there is a downside because it takes a lot of discipline, tenacity, focus to run your own business. Whereas you can't fail in this business, it is 99% likely you will give up before you succeed.

So which one will you choose?

Upcoming Event

Makeup sponsored by Hana. Let me know if you are interested to drop by to party!

p.s. Caren's shop Lovenest is participating as well!

Everything (North East) Asian

Guess which are the cities below:

Shibuya

Dongdaemun

Ximending

I am really into the North Asia countries, primarily Japan, Korea and Taiwan (not country, err place. Sensitive). Notice how their main shopping areas are similar in the look and feel. Somehow I like this look and feel. (think that's because I'm more of a shopping mall girl than rural countryside person). I love their culture, TV dramas, fashion, food, music, almost everything. Think I'm badly influence by their shows.

But I also find Japanese, Koreans, Taiwanese extremely creative people in terms of technology, gadgets, fashions, etc. Wonder why. Was talking to Cass yesterday about staying in Japan for some time. It's my dream to travel to these places (1st before I branch off to other continents) and stay there for 6 mths to a year in each place, to experience the culture, lifestyle and language (I wanna learn japanese! next korean! and french and... language is my thing. science is so not)

But then again, notice how the roots of all these places were originally from China? Hmmm

Some things I like from each place:

Japan

Sushi! (and sashimi, tempura, teppanyaki, etc. etc. I used to work in Japanese restaurant so I end up loving the culture even more >.<)

Japanese dramas (my latest craze is Galileo. Masaharu Fukuyama is so hot! my eye candy)

Anime (especially Shoujo manga like Paradise Kiss, but the above is from Ah, My Goddess!)

Gundam (I know it's so not me, I blame it on my bro's influence. These robotic shows are damn thought provoking on issues like human rights and politics. and I dig the super cute anime characters and voiceovers)

Utada Hikaru. Like her since that song 'First Love'. Extremely talented but she seems to be missing from the music scene for a very long time :(

Ayumi Hamasaki (the Japanese equal of Ah Lian. Think Jolin always copy her looks loh. But nonetheless she is cute like a doll and her songs are very catchy!)

Kimono (so cute! I want to wear one this lifetime. In Japan)

Nana (whatelse is new. So nice! When and where is the new chapters of manga and new season of anime coming out?)

Korea

Korean Dramas

Princess Hours / Goong (beautiful wardrobe, beautiful cast, shoujo manga storyline and plot. One of my favourite Korean dramas)

Coffee Prince (How do I live without love stories? And this is a super happy light hearted Korean drama unlike those tear jerkers kind. Fall in love with Korean music because of this show)

Yoon Eue Hye, lead of Coffee Prince and Princess Hours. Pretty much says why I love her too.

Joo Ji Hoon (he is the only korean eye candy i bothered finding out the name of. Besides Gong Yoo from Coffee Prince. He is so cute, like manga character)

Hanbok, Korean traditional costume. How come their traditional costume all so pretty?

Taiwan

Variety shows (especially those by ASOS, just because they are so mean, shameless, entertaining, funny, sacarstic, hence they make good entertainment)

Taiwanese Idol Dramas (like It All Started With a Kiss, because they always steal story ideas by Japanese comic, but make a better version than the Japanese) Ariel Lin, the main lead of this show is also one my favourite TW actress, because she is talented, hardworking and daring, though not that mainstream.

Joe Cheng (Zheng Yuan Chang I think in Hanyu Pinyin. Just because he is an
androgynous looking eye candy. super metrosexual man but cute)

Rainie Yang (Queen of cuteness, though not as act cute as Cyndi Huang. She hosts, sings, dance, acts in dramas and movie, like that lesbian Spider Lilies. This girl has range!)

Dim Sum, not Taiwan food, but it's Chinese food too. Though more of cantonese cuisine. But I still like!

Xiaolongbao. Big in TW, but apparently from Shanghai. Then again it's yummy! (notice how the food i like is usually bite size.)

Things I want to try when I go Korea / Japan (since I've been to TW twice)

Skiing (must try at least once in my lifetime though it is super likely I will fall like nobody's business)

Hot Spring (I like being in warm element in cold climate. like under blanket when i turn my aircon to 17 degree celsius)

Snow. Just because I never see snow before :(

Sakura (because it is so pretty)