AMaths

When I was in secondary school, I had this subject called AMaths.

I never resented Maths before Sec 3. Miraculously I never had to try too hard for this subject because I am quite good at counting (read = calculative). Then I went on to Sec 3 when I had Double of everything = Lang (Eng & Chi), Maths (Emaths, Amaths), Humanities (Geo & Hist), Sci (Phy & Chem, which i later on dropped to do combined science). IT REALLY SUCKS THEN! i always fall asleep during phy, chem lessons. And esp Amaths lesson. I really tried to keep my concentration up when attending those classes. But somehow somewhat as the teacher went on and on with the examples, her words became further and further away. The class was of little interest to me. Then I thought, "I know one example, I should know it all," After telling myself all those things, I would fall back sleep thinking all is fine.

Until the tests, the exams came and I knew I was in deep trouble. During the paper, I would think to myself "it's ok I dunno how to do some of the questions, at least I completed most" Then when I received my results, I had a shock 7/20, 41/100. Those were the kind of results I was getting for the longest time during Sec 3 /4 (i think I scored quite a few zeros too). It was not encouraging, it was upsetting. And to me a student who always managed to score good grades, it was quite a blow. So I had tuition (which my parents spent alot on) but I was still falling asleep in class. Tuition was just a way to tell me, at least I was doing something about my grades. I made little little improvements over the 2 years, because my tuition teacher wouldn't give up on me. She was patient with me and because of her, I managed to pass Amaths (I cant remember I got c6 or b3, but I was way too glad that I actually passed the damn subject)

During those days when I was mugging and upset about my grades, I did little to really improve my prespective of Amaths. I was just telling myself I am bound to fail, I'm bound to fail. It's too difficult, I dunno how to do the questions, my amaths teacher is boring, I'm just not good in maths and science. I found alot of excuses for my failure to apprehend Amaths. But no actual solution to change my prespective of this challenging subject, like telling myself what I can accomplish if I can apprehend the subject. I could go JC with no sweat. Uni will come really easily. I wouldn't really have escape to Poly for an easier way out while telling everyone Poly is really hands on, and I could learn more from that (I did have a happier time in Poly. I wont trade that for anything)

Anyway abit too much digression, my point is I was finding excuses for my failure. Abit sad but true. And because of me compromising with the situation, I pretty much throw in the towel without giving much of a fight. The result was coincidental. I wished for a pass and a pass was all I got. It wasn't a real gauge of my actual strength at all, but it was definitely a measure of my mental strength.

Anyway I'm in the same place as I were when I was 16. To drop Amaths or not. I already dropped science to do combined science (analogy for dropping JC/uni for poly/work). Now Amaths is as tough as ever. I got my best tuition teacher (Hana). And AMaths is so bloody difficult as ever!!! ARGH!