Having hope

Despite all the shit at work, I find myself imagining things these days whenever I have the time, like now. I imagine my lifestyle when I retire early. Living in the shophouse along Emerald Hill, driving a Volkswagen beetle, Chanel and Prada become my regular brands, going for fashion shows, haute couture etc. I can slowly slowly picture the life of luxury in my head. It aint easy. I have to be a Crown Ambassador for that sort of lifestyle. That's why I must do it fast. I don't want to enjoy that sort of lifestyle when I am already 40 yrs old!!!

the EX-factor

It all started with a "hi, how have you been?" which escalate into him replying "yea, just leave me alone"

I'll be more than happy to. I don't need new distractions in my life. I'm just sad that things have to be this way and he can't see this option as a better way for both of us. Should I say he is less mature than me or is he just being who he is? I do not deny the fact that I was probably not the best girlfriend around, neither was I very interested in his ARMY life. Not that I can't go thru hardships with him, it is just that through this so-called hardships of his, not once he spared a thought about our future or me. I find that the saddest truth of all. That's why I made the decision to put an end to a three-year relationship. I don't believe in stability, I believe in things only getting better or worse. Only he is deceiving himself that the relationship was alright when it was filled with unseen, uncared for problems. We were not growing together anymore. It was separate ways, separate mindsets and neither want to give way.

So it is for the best we parted ways. Maybe he'll never be my friend again, maybe one day we can look back and laugh at it. but in the meantime it will take time for wounds to heal.

Goodbye Sean.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

Yes, working is tough. In fact I think the whole concept of working is bullsh**, but we all need $$$.

Magnifying the problems does not help. Being afraid does not help. Getting the courage to overcome is essential, because the feeling you'll feel after will give you much drive to move even further. I want to challenge myself.

Wish me luck.

in a nutshell

What I've been up in the past 2 months: Chalet/Genting/Birthday/NUS Bash cum Fashion Show/Ms SIM Roadshow

What I'll be doing in the next 3 months:

To be in HK in Feb! => I will definitely go!

Wild night out

man, last night was crazy. Dirty dancing with guys is one thing, dancing with younger men and getting a hicky is another. The worst part is I wasn't drunk! I thought the guys looked cute in the lights of the club. I know i probably look like shit when i left as my hair was drenched in my own sweat. Super shagged when i got home. Can't even feel my freaking legs. Anyway I think Cass and May had fun too, they were dancing with some very cute jap looking guys as well. Well that's Cass' taste, hee. Short guys ain't to my liking. It's been a lot time since I locked lips with another human being and I actually kissed 2 guys in one night! argh... that was wild and stupid to be honest... Seriously have no idea why I did what I did. Maybe I've been surpressed for too long.

Probability of guys you know during clubbing to turn out to be jerks is very high. So you've been warned girlfriends.