Envy, one of the greatest sin

i'm poisoned by envy. i envy that she can afford an ipod nano. i envy that she's thinner. i envy that she has her boyfriend calling her. my degree of envy varies, but material things are always what i envy others for having. I'm not poor, i'm not rich either. I seek riches in life, does that makes me shallow?

at the same time, i stopped myself from thinking these material things. I told myself I have a great complete family, a new house, the freedom to do almost anything i want, a boy in my life who loves me, friends who want to spend time and money for me. these are all the riches one need in their lives.

child of our time

i enjoy this documentary ALOT. become such a salesperson for it when talking to Serene just now. it just makes so much sense to me why certain people act the way they are. Like the most shy person may not be one with lowest self esteem and people who are outgoing and talkative may not be very confident of their ability. and we as humans strive for praises, compliments and encouragements since young and all these go a long to shaping our self esteem and build the person we are now. cool to know how one can be successful in life, not only because of good genes, but also the proper nurturing the parents give their children. Making your children feel good about themselves go a longer way than buying gifts and giving them just money and a good education. I wish i can take all these points down so that i can remind myself how to be a gd parent next time.

Parents of Singapore should really slow down and spend quality time loving their children. they're after all a part of them and the result of love with their spouses. I'm such a preacher. if only my parents gave me more encouragement since young, I'd probably grow up to be a different person who wouldn't yearn fro compliments and praises so much. I yearn for recognition for my good work, my good points, someone to tell me i'm successful in life. Should i have more self esteem, i could tell myself i'm good enough in my own eyes. I shouldn't keep thinking of the failures and mistakes in my life, but remind myself of the positive qualities in myself. not to the extent of being oblivious to my flaws of course. But i shouldn't be hard on myself for compliments.

it feels really good that no one is judging what i write when no one knows i'm keeping a blog. but somehow i'm also dying to give this blog address to my friends. am i that hard up for attention?

who says wishes won't come true

today one very good thing happened. my first online buy on amazon.com has brought much joy to my dearest friend, astri. it just feels so good to buy something for somebody whom you know will definitely love it. i love seeing the faces on my sis's face when i bought her those slippers, my dearie's face when i gave him his watch and strikethrough in astri's blog. i love this feeling and i cant wait to shop for something for persis and serene. hope they'll love their presents too!!!

such moments are just priceless :D