Fairytale

I saw something on Sarah's blog which i agree with. Love is not a bandage for wounds. I used to think having a guy in my life is the answer to my problems. I used to ask myself so many times. Is it? Really? Will he be my prince charming delivering me from all hardships and sufferings?

I wished it was that simple. Really it's not.

I'm on a man prowl. Seriously. I'm putting myself for blind dates, boring dates, lousy dates, desirable dates. I consider it as interview process. Go out with all kinds to know what is suitable. but everytime before a date, I worry and overthink and end up being totally unlike me. I disliked that insecurity. And if the dates turn out bad, I blame it on them. Maybe they are not at fault, I'm just wrong for them at the wrong place at the wrong time.

As I told Cassandra, I'm patiently (trying to be anyway) to wait for the right one to come along. In the meantime I'm making myself a better woman. An independent and stronger (emotionally) girl who will be ready at the right time for the right one. Patiently waiting. The best things in life are worth waiting. In the meantime, let the unfortunate unsuitable men pass through my very bland love life.

What will be, will be.

In the meantime, I am encouraged by the many sensible relationships and marriages around me. Like Rion and Janet, Gordon and Thanet, Len and Caren, Kei and Kristi (Astri's sister who just got married.) and so many more. (: I'm learning to admire from afar and trying not to let the words "I envy them, I want a man too" slipped my mouth.