id.i.o.syn.cra.sy

id·i·o·syn·cra·sy (ĭd'ē-ō-sĭng'krə-sē) Pronunciation Key n. pl. id·i·o·syn·cra·sies
A structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group.
A physiological or temperamental peculiarity.
An unusual individual reaction to food or a drug.

I checked the thesaurus. This word don't actually mean habit but an oddity.

Oddity, something odd.

Isn't it odd I'm always late for work every Saturday? I spend the 1st 2 hours of my office time doing random personal stuff like Friendster, blogging, reading others' blogs, online shopping etc. I actually got quite a bit of things to follow up on work, but I'm simply too lazy to start on it 'cause no one is chasing me.

Isn't it odd to be perceived as strong and having alot of drive? When I am feeling just as lonely and empty and lost inside. I'm also searching for something, be it love, money or companionship.

Isn't it odd that I am at least 10 times richer than my poly days yet I can be living off one dollar coins by the 10th of each month now?

I have certain phases to me. Sometimes I just want to put 200% in my work, ignoring friendship or boyfriends. Sometimes I'm just in this phase 'I want a boyfriend' and I will start keeping contact with my ex-es and keep a lookout for man. Sometimes I just want to be everyone of my friends' listening ear Or that good girl who actually spare a thought for her family.

Odd. Idiosyncrasy. A characteristic peculiar to myself?

Person A told me, to change a habit, you must catch yourself just before you do it. So you are aware of the things you are doing, and will change for the better. Person B told me, replace your habit with another, gradually you will quit one habit for another one.

I agree with both really.

Alot of bad habits to change... Like procrastinating, lack of confidence, lack of planning and thinking ahead. I'm still far from success. I'm sick of envying, sick of being poor, sick of being undermined, sick of being aimless.

Focus Leya. Focus.