Tis the season to be jolly

Merry Xmas to all!

and soon it will be 2007.

Xmas is a season of giving and it is truly a joy and blessing to be able to give to others. but even if you're not able to afford a gift (i.e. me), you just have to try your best to bake gingerbread man and share with your truest friends. Not sure if they'll appreciate it but hey, it's the thought that counts right? As I was making the gingerbread men (or boys rather) I was thinking alot about myself. (narcissist isn't it) And I've decided to come up with the 50 things I want to do in Year 2007. Read on, it's a freaking long one.

1) Own a car
2) Bring my parents overseas
3) Go to Taiwan to learn from the best
4) Go to Big 4
5) To earn enough so that I can splurge on clothes
6) To fill up a huge makeup box that I can call my own
7) To go to a seaside resort to relax for a weekend
8) Visit Japan
9) Visit Europe
10) Go to New York
11) Visit Astri
12) Become a fashion stylist (Do makeovers for my friends)
13) Buy a ring from Tiffany & Co
14) Meet more guys. (not because I wanna get laid)
15) To wake up early in the morning and not having to rush to work
16) To buy a condo (preferably Savanna)
17) Then go swimming in my condo swimming pool every week
18) Buy gifts for every one of my friends
19) Cook up a feast
20) To learn Japanese
21) To learn French
22) To learn hip hop dancing (have to live up to my Pussycat dolls status)
23) To have the stage where I can be sharing my experience
24) Go back to school (yes I miss school)
25) To have 5 figure savings in my bank
26) Apply for Ladies card
27) Wear a gown
28) Visit Australia with my entire family
29) Skiing in Korea
30) To have the time to read a book
31) Go movies everyday
32) To buy a new phone for my sister
33) To buy a MacBook
34) To get a I-Video
35) To watch the entire season of Prison Break, CSI, Grey's Anatomy
36) Buy a trench coat and boots to go cold countries
37) See snow
38) See sakura
39) Go ice-skating and master it
40) Make friends from all over the world
41) And get to stay in their homes
42) To stay in the top notch hotels in the world
43) To go on a plane ride every month
44) Go cycling at East Coast every Wednesday afternoon (where there's no crowd)
45) Learn scuba diving
46) Go sunbathing at the beach
47) Be with my friends 24/7, doing things together
48) Eat great seafood feast every week
49) Eat at award winning restaurants
50) To know how to make and have the time to make double boiled soup

there you go. the 50 things I want to do in 2007. I'll be damned if I can finish even half of them but it's good penning down the things I really want. At least now I've got some visibilty of goals.

Merry Xmas to all again! :)

Have faith, create miracles

I've been inspired to do much more after the training camp. It's a promise to myself and the people around me.

I know I'm a worrywart, like to dwell on problems. It's high time that I change that aspect of me in order to move to higher level. Whenever encountering a problem, must remember Len's quote 'There must be something I have not thought of'

Must have faith. Faith in the group. Believing that we can and we will create miracles. I've promise myself to help everyone including myself to move towards our dreams. No more wasting time on worries and problems.

Having hope

Despite all the shit at work, I find myself imagining things these days whenever I have the time, like now. I imagine my lifestyle when I retire early. Living in the shophouse along Emerald Hill, driving a Volkswagen beetle, Chanel and Prada become my regular brands, going for fashion shows, haute couture etc. I can slowly slowly picture the life of luxury in my head. It aint easy. I have to be a Crown Ambassador for that sort of lifestyle. That's why I must do it fast. I don't want to enjoy that sort of lifestyle when I am already 40 yrs old!!!

the EX-factor

It all started with a "hi, how have you been?" which escalate into him replying "yea, just leave me alone"

I'll be more than happy to. I don't need new distractions in my life. I'm just sad that things have to be this way and he can't see this option as a better way for both of us. Should I say he is less mature than me or is he just being who he is? I do not deny the fact that I was probably not the best girlfriend around, neither was I very interested in his ARMY life. Not that I can't go thru hardships with him, it is just that through this so-called hardships of his, not once he spared a thought about our future or me. I find that the saddest truth of all. That's why I made the decision to put an end to a three-year relationship. I don't believe in stability, I believe in things only getting better or worse. Only he is deceiving himself that the relationship was alright when it was filled with unseen, uncared for problems. We were not growing together anymore. It was separate ways, separate mindsets and neither want to give way.

So it is for the best we parted ways. Maybe he'll never be my friend again, maybe one day we can look back and laugh at it. but in the meantime it will take time for wounds to heal.

Goodbye Sean.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

Yes, working is tough. In fact I think the whole concept of working is bullsh**, but we all need $$$.

Magnifying the problems does not help. Being afraid does not help. Getting the courage to overcome is essential, because the feeling you'll feel after will give you much drive to move even further. I want to challenge myself.

Wish me luck.